you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
