New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
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