Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I bet he comes in French.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
