If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
So vagazzling was a success
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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