ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
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