i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
