i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
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