'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
