you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
