why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
