So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
