She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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