So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I think I won the penis lottery.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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