she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
