Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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