yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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