I just pynch a tree in the face
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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