yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
