And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
