Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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