Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
