she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
