come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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