I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
this just has baby written all over it
She just used a chaser for red wine.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
