Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
