how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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