wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Fuck appropriateness.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize