My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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