hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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