so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
