i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
