god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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