I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
