guys are only as good as the porn they watch
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
