The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
they're like a gay fantastic four
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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