Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
