I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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