dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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