dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize