I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
