So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
