We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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