He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
