Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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