is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
