The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
