Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
