used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
