So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
