If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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