You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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