shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
