$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
