you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
