so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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