i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
