i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
