Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
