She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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