Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
