Having a random hookup so left but love u
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
do herpes really smell.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
