Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Couch. On fire.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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