In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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